I am sitting here in glorious sunshine in the garden of Gayhurst House on Easter Saturday thinking about my beautiful Mum. She would have loved this place but sadly was never well enough to come and visit us here. Sadly we are unable to have a service at the crematorium as we would have under normal circumstances and this would have been part of the service.
She was born on 8th August 1929 in Wolverton to Tom and Winifred Pollard. She had an elder sister, Beryl and two younger brothers, Geoff and John and outlived them all.
She moved from Wolverton where her father worked at the Wolverton Railway Works to a bungalow, called Shalstone in Stoke Road, Water Eaton and then later to Leon Avenue in Bletchley.
She worked at Wipac in Bletchley where she met Dad – known as Bill Crisp to most but Mum always called him Chris. They were married on 6th August 1949 at St Mary’s Church, Bletchley. They lived for a while with Beryl and Johnny and then moved to their own home in Kenilworth Drive, Bletchley. After eight years of longing for a child, I was born by Caesarean Section on 5th June 1957. We all moved to Highlands Road, Buckingham in 1960 when Wipac relocated to Buckingham.
Highlands Road was home for some 46 years until following the death of Dad in 2007, Mum decided to downsize to Paynes Court in Buckingham. Mum cared for my father for 15 years following his diagnosis of multi-infarct dementia until he had to have 24/7 care and moved to Maids Moreton Hall. Just six months after his passing, Mum was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. She managed well with support until she needed full time care and moved to Lime Tree Court in Twyford in 2012. The care she received there was second to none and I can never thank the staff enough for the love and care they gave to Mum throughout her stay there but in particular during her last few days when we were in isolation and unable to visit her.
I had a wonderful childhood – full of love, fun and laughter. My Mum was always smiling, always laughing. There were many occasions where she would find something so funny that she would laugh until she was crying. Her laughter was infectious and we would all be laughing and crying with her – sometimes not even knowing what we were laughing at!
We had many wonderful family holidays, often including extended family. In 1964, we all went to Bournemouth with Beryl, Johnny, Julie, Louise and Dad’s mother, Nanna Bess. More recently, my cousin Julie and I took Mum and Beryl to our home in Spain for a holiday. I remember a special treat on that holiday being a big bowl of ice cream with kiwi fruit which Mum adored. Mum and Beryl shared a bedroom and it was as if they were back to their school days squabbling over a hair brush.
Every Christmas we had big “Pollard” family Christmases with Mum and Beryl taking it in turns year after year to produce a full Christmas feast – one on Christmas Day and the other on Boxing Day. Why we needed two complete Christmas meals, I’ll never know but I remember them as times full of fun and laughter.
Mum was never very keen on animals and had a very extreme fear of cats. She couldn’t watch a lion on the television for example and if a cat came near her, she would be terrified, hyperventilating and having a panic attack. I remember one occasion having dinner at the Stag at Mentmore. Our main course had just been served and a cat came into the restaurant. Mum saw it, leapt up and tipped the whole table over. Imagine my surprise a couple of years ago going to visit her at Lime Tree Court and there she was sitting in her chair stroking a cat on her lap! She had obviously regressed back past whatever it was that had caused this irrational fear that she had.
As a child, I was pony mad and at the age of five, was very fortunate to have a pony called Betty. We kept her at a stable yard in Gawcott and Dad took me there every day to care for her. Betty cost £60 and we all contributed to the cost. I always remember Mum laughing and saying her £20 bought the front end and she continued to pay for the food, my £20 paid for her back as I was the one to ride her and Dad’s £20 paid for the rear end as he was the one who every day for many years went to muck out the pony!
Dad and I later persuaded Mum to have a dog and we bought a little cocker spaniel puppy named Chandos. She was very patient having this bundle of energy in the house but was never keen on him going anywhere near her. This was typical of Mum though – always thought of others before herself and agreed knowing how much it meant to Dad and me to have a dog.
She was always happy to “have a go”. I wanted swimming lessons and so every day during one school summer holiday, she drove me over to Wolverton open air pool for swimming lessons. Once I could swim of course I was always asking her to take me swimming. She had never learned to swim and so booked herself onto adult swimming lessons and every Monday evening for over two summers she herself went for swimming lessons so that we could all go swimming together.
She also learned to play badminton and became a regular player at Buckingham Community Centre. She loved to cook and had more cookery books than I’ve had hot dinners! She was also very talented at crafts – knitting and sewing, producing the most exquisite tapestry, cross stitch and Hardanger needlework.
She ran her own business from home – the Bletchley Typing Bureau providing administrative and secretarial support to a number of individuals and organisations. She had an office upstairs in the spare bedroom and I would often be roped in to fold horticultural show programmes or staple together the church magazine. She particularly enjoyed typing manuscripts for two authors including a biography of Edward VIII by Lady Frances Donaldson.
In the late 60’s she provided secretarial support to the partners of E T Ray Solicitors. Chris Chandler joined the firm in the early 70’s and said: “Eileen was the one rock of constant support upon which I relied heavily when I arrived in Buckingham as a callow young lawyer. She was fiercely loyal and very hard working and committed. She very much helped build our practice at that time.” She stayed with the firm until she was forced to retire to care for Dad.
Mum worked so hard and from a very young age instilled in me values to which I live to this day around always doing the best you can, the importance of hard work, loyalty and commitment, being kind and always thinking of others before yourself. Mum was an active member of Ladies Circle, Inner Wheel and Tangent and also a stalwart member of Maids Moreton Church fulfilling several roles on the Parochial Church Council.
Being an only child, I was always desperate for a sister. Whilst at the Royal Latin School in Buckingham, there was an opportunity for a girl to come over from Bavaria to study at the school for a few months and the school were looking for a family for her to stay with. Mum immediately said yes without even asking Dad as she knew it would be good for me. I remember her telling me that I would have to share absolutely everything and that Eva would be treated as a second daughter which is exactly what happened. Eva and I have remained best friends ever since with our boys going over to Germany to improve their German and her daughter coming over here to help with her English.
I met Mike in December 1979 and took him to meet Mum and Dad early in 1980. I remember Mum being so nervous – I’m not sure who was the most nervous – Mum or Mike! They immediately welcomed him into the family. Our wedding day in October that year was wonderful. Mum always loved to dress up but the hat she had for our wedding was second to none. Every year she dressed up in a new ball gown to attend Stowe Ball and many other charity functions. She never went out of the house “without her face on”, always had to have earrings in her ears and her nails painted. The daughter of one of her best friends said: “my first memories of Eileen were her beautiful long nails. I always wondered how she typed with them!”
In 1988, Will, her first grandson was born, followed by Edd in 1991. She adored the boys for whom nothing was too much trouble. She loved to cook and would always make sure she had cooked whatever was their favourite meal at the time. She made the best apple pies in the world and would always make a batch at Christmas for the boys who weren’t so keen on mince pies – even though they were the best in the world as well!
Her last outing was to Will and Jen’s wedding in May 2014 when Georgie from Lime Tree Court drove her down to Surrey to attend the church service. It was all a bit bewildering for her but she smiled and laughed throughout and, although she was not able by that time to say very much, she sang every hymn, word for word. Sadly she was not well enough to attend Edd and Amanda’s wedding in 2018 but enjoyed the photographs afterwards.
We’ve received so many letters and cards with so many lovely messages about Mum’s kindness, caring and concern for others. One friend said she was the epitome of what the meaning of “being a friend” meant and that no matter how long it was between visits or letters, she was always the same and supportive. She said she was honoured and blessed to have known Mum who was truly a blessing in her life and will miss her very much. The daughter of another friend said she was always the best of friends to my mother and her love and support meant a lot to her Mum.
Her infectious laughter, love and care for everyone will be sorely missed. Rest in peace Mum. We love you.